Just when you thought things were okay, it happens again. Here’s a powerful way to strengthen your boundaries and protect your peace without confrontation.

Boundaries: So you have been dissed, or disappointed by someone again. It is time to reinforce the boundary, even if it is not verbalized to them, try this.

Name the behavior in nonjudgmental way, facts of the situation

Not just..she is so mean.. Or How could they do this to me?

This may feel true emotionally, but continuing to ruminate with emotions can spiral feelings deeper and more intensely.

Summarize and clarify the events with just facts trying to use the least aggressively descriptive adjectives as possible... "She reacted intensely before I had a chance to speak. I went over to her house with the intent to help her move, so it seems her situation is unrelated to me."

This process of naming the behavior is done for you, so you can dial back to confirm you are not indeed the “crazy” one.

Usually a person you have to set firm boundaries with does not have quite such a logical capacity to comprehend why you are putting new standards and distance in place, so naming it to them, will not shift the situation because they will just go on defense.

You are doing this for YOU (finally putting your best interests as priority) and this is the beginning of doing things for yourself not because someone else wants you to be there and that was your old way of gaining love and acceptance.

If you are sensitive you also risk absorbing their confusion as a way of feeling bad for them, so you need to name the behavior to protect your own sanity and decompress from the irrational abuse.

Protect your well-being, you have been through too much to slide back into torment.